emotional rollercoaster

I've never been so miserable, nor so happy, in my whole life. Teaching English is so terrifying sometimes its not funny--talk about baptism by fire! You're thrown into teaching 23 hours a week with little to no idea what you're doing. Everyday I walk into class terrified that I'll never make it through. Honestly, I don't know that I can survive it. I keep bursting into tears I'm so overwhelmed, and I barely can get any sleep so I'm working off 6 hours a night, which for anyone who knows me knows is not nearly enough.

And then there's John, who alleviates and excerbates the problem. I fear all I do now is complain to him and weep periodically, and he's so kind about it but I think he's grown weary of the whole thing. What is wrong with me? And then I don't get any sleep because I'm spending too much time with him, taking $20 cab rides home at 2 in the morning...but its the only time I don't feel like I just want to give up! oh, what will I do? I don't think I'll survive this...