Fetish (a love letter to another teacher)

Grooooan. Once again, I have a crush on my teacher. Have a guess what his name is! John. And he's English. He probably didn't even need to do anymore than that to incur my dopey (and likely unwanted) affection. Sigh. Lovely John, I'd like to sit on your lap, mess up your floppy English hair, make fun of you. Only to know you! Smart, funny, kind old man John...38! By the french algorithm, the perfect age for me (halve it and add 7....)